There's plenty to loathe about Jaromir Jagr...his mid-90s uber mullet, the way he fleeced Ted Leonsis and the Caps with his half-assed play as a Capital (wah, my beard...I mean girlfriend...dumped me!)...and speaking of beards, that brings me to the latest reason to hate this putz...his lame-ass Apollo Anton-Ono-wanna-be playoff beard. That's not a beard...that's Sonny Crockett stubble with a big old soul patch...for a man who has no soul.Jagr, pay attention. I'll speak slowly so you can
understand, ya mental midget. See below (Neidermayer, Scott) for the correct execution of a playoff beard. If you're not going to go all the way with it, don't bother at all! If you're not rocking a Grizzly Adams, Canadian Frontier beard...it ain't a playoff beard.And I would think that after Tom Cruise, there wouldn't be a North American celebrity with more experience with "beards" than Jagr. Not that it matters anyway. Jagr will be shaving by the weekend, as the Pens move on to the Conference Finals.
4 comments:
HEY! Katie and I have a loving committed relationship. You'll be hearing from my lawyers!
-Tom Cruise
If the beard fits...shear it.
You couldn't even spell Niedermayer right, a-hole. I'd rather read the opinion of someone who knows hockey and can actually spell players' names. Jagr's Hitler moustache/goat fur >>>>> your writing.
Oh. Wow. You're right. I flip-flopped an I and an E. I suck. I'm a fraud. I need to rethink my entire life's path. That MUST mean that I know nothing about hockey.
Thanks for pointing that out, ass clown.
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